Summer Air and Optimism

Tonight was my big senior show for the illustration Degree Project. It was lovely - there were so many people there, and I ran out of business cards on my podium very quickly! I wore a pretty dress and got to talk to everyone and show my parents around. My friends Savannah, Marissa, Pat, Chris, Dave, and Luke came (along with all my MassArt lovelies), and Marissa brought me flowers!! <333 Thanks to everyone who came and to everyone who was there in spirit. Your support means the world to me. <3

I also may be making a cameo appearance in an upcoming show at Space 242. But nothing solid yet so I can't telllllll yoooouuuuu. OOH SECRETS

I ordered two more sets of postcards tonight because I re-decided that I want to represent my painted work along with my digital work. So critical! And I'm waiting for my promotional keychains to come in so I can epoxy them together and love them. (They're the squirt gun ones. I actually bought squirt guns at Target yesterday. Yay almost summer!)


Aside from that, I'm just finishing up my last couple of assignments before the schoolyear is over for me forevs. Then I just have to make 4 paintings for June 16th, start and finish my comic by June 1st, make a role-playing costume for a friend before July, and make a cover for the Dig before June 21st. THESE ARE MY PLANS. I MUST KEEP THEM.

My Degree Project is Over

I never thought I would ever say those words. But yes, the project I've been working on for a year is now officially over.

There's going to be a big gallery show tomorrow night for all of the Illustration seniors and their degree projects from 6 - 8 in the MassArt tower building on the 11th floor. You should stop by if you can! Everything looks wonderful. <3 I've just finished my "graphic summary" or process book to describe my project and all that good stuff. It'll be on display to flip through underneath my paintings. I'm happy to say that I worked my ass off to finish this project and that I have no regrets. I admit I wish I'd spent less time whining and more time working at certain points, but I'm satisfied with how my pieces turned out.

Here's the last painting I completed for this project. All of the pieces involved clowns as a substitute for myself in representing issues and feelings I've been having as of late. Clowns represent humility, to me, which is something I've experienced a lot this year (to my benefit - my head almost wouldn't fit through the door). This piece in particular represents losing my sense of youth and childhood and knowing I can never turn back to that kind of easy life. But things are okay, being an adult.



I hope you guys can make it to the show! Give me a call if you'd like to come and need directions. <3 (781)351-9699. There will be snacks! And amazing artwork!

Degree Project: Fif Piece Sketch

"It's lonely up here on my pedestal."

Detail of rag doll.

A couple of new pieces. <3

My 3rd degree project piece.

Some Pop Tarts. (Lindsay's making a toaster!)

A little girl in a raincoat. <3 I used a technique Bob Maloney, my experimental illustration teacher where you paint on a bunch of layers of paint over a gessoed surface and then sandpaper some parts off.

Stephen and I got all the entries together today for the Illustration All School Show. We got hundreds of entries, and everything went really smoothly. I just have to upload the rest of the digital files tomorrow morning for Veronica to judge the pieces. Then Brian Butler and Shawn Morris are coming tomorrow to see things! I have Brian's artwork, and I refuse to give it back!

Today, I had a long talk with my former teacher, Suzanne Barnes. We talked about my Degree Project, and about all the shittyness that life has to offer, and how to get through it. She was really supportive, and we shared a few laughs, and now I have renewed love for my degree project.



I'm feeling better about things. One thing at a time.

Oh! And I got like, 13 free frames from Blick, just because they were a bit scratched up and didn't have glass. But yay! Those frames were $43 apiece before. :) So yay!

2/8 Degree Project Pieces

These are the first two in a series of 8 for my Illustration Degree Project pieces involving clowns depicting parts of my life and feelings they convey to me.

The first involves staying calm while your world comes crashing down.


The second depicts the moment before all hell breaks loose, the moment of ungravity, not knowing what may happen.


The next piece in the series that I'll post soon conveys mine and my sister's battle with depression and learning how to save yourself.

The fourth, the comp I just posted, is a realization of being different and embracing the way you don't fit into the normalcy of things and other people.


This project has a really deep meaning for me, regarding specific moments in my life. It's too difficult to post here - if you'd like to hear more, you can email me or buy me a coffee. I'm happy with the way this is turning out.

I'm probably traumatized.

Here's the color comp for my next Degree Project piece on clowns representing my life.

This one represents being different. There's this phrase I heard in a song that said something along the lines of, "You can lie amongst your lies, like a tuna in the brine." I've always loved that song, and it really stood out to me. If you're a big fish, everyone will be able to see you're not a little fish, so why bother? Embrace yourself and what you're all about.

SO THAT = OCTOCLOWN. I know octopi are pretty popular/cliche at the moment, but whatever. I like this one. To be painted in gouache like the others.


And now a list of things I need to be working on and have to complete.

1. Experimental homework Done!
a. 3 collaged background surfaces using techniques from class Done!
b. 5 surfaces treated with gesso Done!
2. Degree Project painting DUE 3/1 BECAUSE OF SETBACKS
3. All School Show Submissions flyer Done!
4. Modus Lotus flyers DUE 3/10
5. Fix up business card DUE 2/25
6. Fix up resume DUE 2/25 BY THE LATEST 3/3
7. Buy portfolio, Done! get pieces printed for Harmonix review DUE 2/26
8. Fix up B+W dog/Halloween comp, color comp DUE 2/25
9. Make digital comps of 3 promo postcards DUE 2/25

I have a lot of shit to get done. But first I must brush my hair! I will have rice for dinner tonight!

Also, I'm going to be INCREDIBLY poor soon, as my hours at work keep getting screwed up/are diminishing/I had to miss my only other shift this week because of the fire. So if you see me, give me a coupon or something to Shaw's or whatever.

Things will not get easier, only more difficult, yet I shall persevere.
Also, I think I'm seriously traumatized because of that fire. Whatever possessed me to RUN INTO a raging fire, I don't know, but I'm still having flashbacks. So blah. If I go insane in the next week, you'll know why.

Degree Project and Something Completely Different

This is a sketch for my fourth Degree Project piece. It's an octoclown. I've been wanting to combine animals with clowns (my theme being clowns), and I feel this was successful. I know drawing octopi are all the rage right now, but I have a reason: I had bought a small glass sculpture of an octopus with only 5 tentacles (a pentapus) and a big red nose. It's adorable, and it inspired this piece.

The theme is being "the octopus in the brine," if you will. It's about being different and not being afraid to shine. The light source will be from directly above as sunlight gleaming through water. The fishes swimming in their school below will be highlighted in the sun. The main colors will be blue, turquoise, red, white, cream, and violet. Possibly yellow tones in the water.


And this, THIS, my friends, is a commission my friend asked me to do. PLEASE FULL VIEW. He wanted me to take this picture and make it badass. And if there's anyone who wants to whine about copying - go for it. I was told to go by a direct reference, and I'm complying to my client's needs. So whatevs on you.

Either way, he wanted St. Michael kicking the shit out of a demon with a sword, and I took this as an opportunity to draw lots of line and lots of movement with the fabric and the feathers. I NEVER draw men either (which you can probably tell) so I tried to make St. Michael look as beefy as possible. His flowing blonde hair doesn't lend well to his rippling muscles.

Isn't it strange to think I did the octoclown 4 hours ago and this new one an hour ago? What the hell happened since then? And I was drawing puppies earlier. Weird night. This is what happens when Jared leaves.

Recent things.

So I've been working on a few things.

I've been working with a snowboard company called "FLOW" from San Diego, helping design a board for their 2011 line. That's going well - you can see my most recent submissions a couple of posts down.

I did a bit of freelance work today (FINALLY) for a wonderful company called Medallion Gallery Rugs. They're a high end rug company on the corner of Newbury and Clarendon Streets, and I must say that the people who run the shop are fantastic. They were more than accommodating to my needs, getting me ladders, paper towels, and I even had the general manager help me a little because I was too short. I was on a 20-foot ladder for most of today, and I didn't realize until now that my fear of heights starts at 15 feet. haha. Either way, Amir and the people there were just great, so if you're over by H&M on Newbury, go check them out! I even got a $50 bonus for being awesome, so I bought myself some earrings and a small vinyl toy (the last one on the right):
Along with this, I've been getting my Degree Project finished along with my final portfolio. As of now, I've got my 3 promotional postcard ideas figured out. Now I just have to commit to a new business card, which I'm working on. I'm also trying to decide on text placement for this next piece. Opinions? Which one's your favorite?

Still trying to get my comic going, still trying to get my website up. There aren't enough hours in the day! Seriously! I can't wait until it's spring and the sun is out longer - it'll trick my brain into thinking I have more time to do all the things I want to do.

In other random news!!! I learned how to use packing tape transfers, thanks to Bob Maloney! They're AMAZING. I'm pretty much obsessed with that, at the moment, and I'm going to use them for everythinnggg.

And lastly, I'll be making a portfolio blog to post all of my final images on. I like using this blog to say my silly things in, but I know I need a better gallery for my finishes until my website's up. Along with this, http://www.grin-grin.com will soon be obliterated. I'll be opting for a more big-girl name, www.bamcatart.com. So look out for that! Change is a brewin'!

To conclude, here is a picture of my boyfriend, Jared, being unbearably cute. I've been staring at this picture all night. He's coming to visit Friday night for Valentine's Day! I haven't seen him in 3 weeks! It will be wonderful. <333

Little update.

Just wanted to mention that I have a couple more little pieces up on etsy, including this little guy here. I've been keeping myself busy between the times I work by doing little drawings and paintings - I've been doing art every day, and it's helping me stay focused. I've had good company around too (see: Alex and Lindsay) to keep me motivated and to have some fun without assignment stress.

I've completed the color comps for my first 3 degree project pieces, and I'm looking forward to starting/finishing them. I'm strange - most of the time, I need to do a painting in one go, because I need the feeling of being in that moment and having that kind of relationship with the colors I'm using and the way I apply the paint. I'm very attached to my materials - I'm in love with heavyweight hot press board and paint that comes in plastic tubes. It soothes me.

But! Lindsay Small came over today, and we were supposed to paint but didn't, so we watched stupid online videos and looked at stupid websites instead, which was also very good. I missed her! She's one of my favorites. :)

So I'm just pushing through until school starts up again, I guess. Can't wait until reviews are over!!

Cohesiveness.

Degree Project sketches. I've redone my idea a thousands times, incorporating clowns into each idea (clowns being my theme), and I've come to the conclusion that I need to draw the way I want or this will never get past the starting line.

So now I have 3 concrete sketches, and I'm very pleased. It only took like, 5 months to be happy with this project, and the break - being away from the classroom atmosphere - has helped me rid myself of my insecurities regarding this project.

I'm using clowns in the way I normally would draw them - adding symbols and emotions and color to represent events and feelings I have about my life.

First, is the brother to my Bomb Clown Monster. He's a Dirigible Clown Monster. I drew him when I was afraid of not making it in the art world. He is a perfect.

Second is my Stilt Yolk Clown Monster. I drew him one day after work, when I was feeling strange. I always draw characters with stilts - I'm very insecure about my height. I wear tall shoes, have looked into stilt-walking classes, and the teetering/wobbling on shaky legs over eggshells thing just works for me. This drawing feels perfect, to me.

Last is the 800th edition of my Teacup Clown Monster. I had an epitome tonight. After 2 hours of drawing and not making anything good, I took a shower and cleared my head. As soon as I was getting ready to get out, my brain screamed, "THE CLOWN NEEDS TO BE MADE OUT OF ICE CREAM" and everything fell into place. I found my solution to this problem.

And now I feel that these three pieces look like they belong together, like they're part of a family. They're my Degree Project Clown Family. They've come a long way. I love them.

Changing my degree project. Again.

I'm not doing a children's book anymore. I don't want to be a children's book artist. I don't want to be an artist who draws for children. If I see a kid's book, I'm going to throw it out the window. Then I'll go outside and stomp on it. And spit fire on it.

I hate that I had to change my idea so many times for this project - I like to GET an idea, love that idea, and bring it to finish and love it more. I don't like having to rethink my goals in life over a drawing. I want to feel successful when I finish something, not insecure about it. Fuck what my teacher wants - I'm doing what I want.

What I want is to have a portfolio of art that I'm in love with. Art that means something to me, that expresses growth. I don't want a portfolio of A+'s. I don't want a gold star. I WANT to be happy with what I'm doing and to give anyone who tells me to stop a fist in the face.

I realized tonight that life is unpredictable. Life is emotional. Life is too short to take shit from people all the time. You need to do what makes you happy, even if it screws up some other things.

FINALS FINALFKS FINAFKLLS

I spend most of my nights with lots of quiet. And lonely. Lots of quiet and lonely.
But I'm not so sad anymore - it's time to buckle down for finals and pump out some sweet artwork. These are some things I'm working on:

-Degree Project DUE 12/8
a. Quail Dobbs rodeo clown painting DONE
b. Quail Dobbs rodeo clown background painting 30%
c. Finished sketches for Bozo the clown painting 0%
-Illustration 4 DUE 12/9
a. Johnny Cupcakes ad 40%
b. Dracula pinup 70%
-Black and White Illustration
a. Gorilla block print 0%
b. Gorilla painting 0% DUE 12/3
c. "If The Cement Shoe Fits" final sketches 0%
d. "If The Cement Shoe Fits" scratchboard piece 0% DUE 12/10
-Fashion History DUE 12/10
a. Personal coat of arms 0%
-Contemporary Poetry DUE 12/18
a. 3-page analytical essay 0%
-Christmas Cards
a. Sketch DONE
b. Coloring/printing out/distributing 0%
-Coat of Arms Christmas present
a. Sketch 0%


I have a loooooot of work to do! Time to buy a bunch of low-carb Monster drinks and some more Cheez-its and live in my studio for a while. I've picked up some more hours at work as well, so it's going to be busybusybusy for Bamcat for a few weeks.

But!! Once reviews are over, I get to enjoy some time off and head up to Maine for a bit to hang out with some good friends and one particularly excellent, wonderful, and attractive friend who's gonna take me on a date. <3 I'm very excited!!! I'm also dying my hair brown soon. The red is too hard to take care of, and my hair needs time to relax, I think. So look out for that! Time to get some sleep so I can work my ass off all day tomorrow! Night!

(The awesome Christmas lights up in Portland during the winter! Part of my motivation to work hard and get this stuff done! I can't wait!!!)

1st Part of Degree Project

Here's the first part of my first final for Degree Project. This fine gentleman is Quail Dobbs, a famous rodeo clown. My Degree Project is basically a children's book (not my original idea..) showcasing different famous clowns and telling a few facts about their lives in poem-form (Lindsay's idea, which I think is cute). As per Linda's request, I'm doing the finished portraits separate from the Backgrounds, leaving more room for mistakes.

Gouache, about 5 hours. 16" x 20" or so. I'm really pleased with how this came out - I actually redrew him from my sketch instead of just transferring my final sketch (something I've become accustomed to NOT doing anymore). Either way, love him, love him, love him.

Wish me luck on the background! I'll post them both together once I've got them done. 

So I'm probably gonna just become a clown.

Clowns get to hang out with kids, and wear bright costumes, and wear lots of makeup, and have blue hair, and make balloon animals.

Honestly, maybe I'll be a clown on the side.


My degree project is making me reconsider my life.