Changing my degree project. Again.

I'm not doing a children's book anymore. I don't want to be a children's book artist. I don't want to be an artist who draws for children. If I see a kid's book, I'm going to throw it out the window. Then I'll go outside and stomp on it. And spit fire on it.

I hate that I had to change my idea so many times for this project - I like to GET an idea, love that idea, and bring it to finish and love it more. I don't like having to rethink my goals in life over a drawing. I want to feel successful when I finish something, not insecure about it. Fuck what my teacher wants - I'm doing what I want.

What I want is to have a portfolio of art that I'm in love with. Art that means something to me, that expresses growth. I don't want a portfolio of A+'s. I don't want a gold star. I WANT to be happy with what I'm doing and to give anyone who tells me to stop a fist in the face.

I realized tonight that life is unpredictable. Life is emotional. Life is too short to take shit from people all the time. You need to do what makes you happy, even if it screws up some other things.

Let me tell you...

There is nothing I enjoy more than dragging my ass to MassArt at 8am on a Saturday morning in my scottie dog jammies to print out makeshift business cards. The ones I had ordered, with TWO-DAY shipping, never arrived. I'm gonna see if I can get reimbursed for the shipping - after all, why pay to get it in two days if it's coming in 6?

Either way, I am prepared for the Modus Lotus show tonight, and I can't wait! I have lots of yummy goodies for Toys For Tots, and so many people are coming! Yay! Excitement!! <3333

Progress.

My list of shit to do has decreased significantly. Kind of easing through the last few days - I have to work every day at Blick, but I know I'll get everything done, so I'm not stressed at the moment. The thing that worries me the most is for classes to be over and for me to slip into "vacation mode". I still have to make a comic for Detour 12, and I also have to write a poem analysis for the 18th and my 10-page research report for Degree Project over the break. Lots of stuff.

Tomorrow: POP EUPHORIA SHOW IN WORCESTER. Biggest moment of my life so far. I'm PSYCHED. My business cards never showed up, though, so I'll be running to the studios in the morning before work to print up some not-so-makeshift business cards for the event. YAY.

But just to update with some real arts, here you go, my progress for Illustration 4. It's going to say, "A cupcake is forever" and there's gonna be all sorts of pretty fluffy graphic designy shit around it. Yay! I'm just trying to have fun with it.

Tomorrow: POP EUPHORIA SHOW IN WORCESTER. Biggest moment of my life so far. I'm PSYCHED. My business cards never showed up, though, so I'll be running to the studios in the morning before work to print up some not-so-makeshift business cards for the event. YAY.

Half rant/half not

GOOD:

-Got invited to be in Veronica's Pop Euphoria show in Worcester this weekend. I'm so excited! I picked my mime piece about Hamlet. And I'm gonna try to bring toys for the childrens, as Toys For Tots is gonna be there. Try to make it if you can! It's gonna be a blast. :) Gotta mount my piece somehow tomorrow, even though it's 12" x 12 3/4". Haha.

-Got another piece done for Black and White today, along with a final sketch that I just have to convert into a scratchboard masterpiece. I want to make Dan Blakeslee proud.

-I had thought a piece for my fashion history class was due next week, but turns out it was due today, so I had to be a Tricky Vicky and draw it in class, ink it in class, print it out on the break (with help from Amanda with the rolly scanny things), color it in LESS than two minutes (very tastefully, I might add) and mount it onto foamboard. It looks awesome. I don't like doing work at the last minute, but at least it's done. Yay!

-My mom is OFFICIALLY cancer-free. Hooray! *HUGE sigh of relief* Yay Mummy!

-Jared has been very, very wonderful to me lately. He's been a really big support while I've been shoving push pins in my eyes through finals, and I'm excited to go see him! But first: FINISH WORK.

-New shoes came in the mail! I love them! And business cards tomorrow! Yay!

BAD:

-I'm really tired lately, and my acid reflux has been kicking in something fierce. It's from all the caffeine, sleep deprivation, unhealthy eating habits (or non-eating habits for that matter), constant stress, and just working as hard as I possibly can. It's all gonna be worth it though.

-Money really, really isn't doing so great these days. My rent was due a few days ago, as were the bills, and I've just been on the edge of my seat waiting for payday so I can kiss that money goodbye. I bought a new box of Cheez-its. Woo.

-I had to cancel my CAT scan (for my blinding migraines) for Monday because of the stupid Degree Project show. Everything for that is completely unorganized, especially the part where they want ALL the classes to be there but not critiquing kids from their own class but not having the artist present but not keeping all the work in one room and also trying to fit 40 students' process work onto maybe 8 tables in a very small room (914). That room has terrible lighting, too. They didn't even account for the fact that many students have class early on Mondays and wouldn't be able to bring it in at 11 unless they used their break from class. Blarfgkhjg.

-I REALLY need to dye my hair. The red needs to be gone. Now. Like, right now.


Ok, I'm done complaining now! Yay school! Yay everything! Yay Jared! <3
Time to go lay down. <3

Getting there

As per Sylvia's good example, I ordered some business cards off of overnightprints.com. They cost a lot of money. Money I do not have. But this is important, dammit. Ask me for one!

Looking forward to the gallery opening on Saturday, featuring the work of such wonderful people as my favorite, Lindsay Small, Alycia Garcia, Mark Reusch, and quite a few others. There's gonna be a Kaiju Big Battel suit and everything! And Andy Fish's Batman cowl.

Looking forward to that, getting finals done and trying not to spend too many nights in the studio past midnight. But I usually do my best work past midnight, so whatever.

Had a fantastic day today, and I'm feeling like the rest of the week is going to go really well. Yay for finishing work and making everybody proud!

NEW LIST OF THINGS TO WORK ON:

-Degree Project Due 12/8
a. Superimposed book layout printed
b. Label explaining my piece
-Illustration 4 Due 12/9
a. Putting my Juxtapoz piece into context
b. Color Johnny Cupcakes piece
-Black and White Illustration Due 12/10
a. Finish Gorilla, Unexpected piece
b. Scratchboard film noir piece (sketch + finish)
-Fashion History Due 12/10
a. Coat of Arms
-Poetry Due 12/18
a. 3-page analytical essay
-Detour Due 1/1
a. Bio page
b. Comic (not even started)

Eeeeeee

Feeling stupidhappy today. And lovely. And pretty.

Today is going to be a gorgeous day.

FINALS FINALFKS FINAFKLLS

I spend most of my nights with lots of quiet. And lonely. Lots of quiet and lonely.
But I'm not so sad anymore - it's time to buckle down for finals and pump out some sweet artwork. These are some things I'm working on:

-Degree Project DUE 12/8
a. Quail Dobbs rodeo clown painting DONE
b. Quail Dobbs rodeo clown background painting 30%
c. Finished sketches for Bozo the clown painting 0%
-Illustration 4 DUE 12/9
a. Johnny Cupcakes ad 40%
b. Dracula pinup 70%
-Black and White Illustration
a. Gorilla block print 0%
b. Gorilla painting 0% DUE 12/3
c. "If The Cement Shoe Fits" final sketches 0%
d. "If The Cement Shoe Fits" scratchboard piece 0% DUE 12/10
-Fashion History DUE 12/10
a. Personal coat of arms 0%
-Contemporary Poetry DUE 12/18
a. 3-page analytical essay 0%
-Christmas Cards
a. Sketch DONE
b. Coloring/printing out/distributing 0%
-Coat of Arms Christmas present
a. Sketch 0%


I have a loooooot of work to do! Time to buy a bunch of low-carb Monster drinks and some more Cheez-its and live in my studio for a while. I've picked up some more hours at work as well, so it's going to be busybusybusy for Bamcat for a few weeks.

But!! Once reviews are over, I get to enjoy some time off and head up to Maine for a bit to hang out with some good friends and one particularly excellent, wonderful, and attractive friend who's gonna take me on a date. <3 I'm very excited!!! I'm also dying my hair brown soon. The red is too hard to take care of, and my hair needs time to relax, I think. So look out for that! Time to get some sleep so I can work my ass off all day tomorrow! Night!

(The awesome Christmas lights up in Portland during the winter! Part of my motivation to work hard and get this stuff done! I can't wait!!!)